mint's diary

April 30, 2025

I've been procrastinating drawing but it's really catching up to me. while looking into hobbies like making button pin and stickers, i realized that both kinda need a design to put on them. I could probably just take some from the internet but something doesn't feel right about doing that. So the only other option is to create my own, by drawing. I started doing blender to create avatars for vrchat and it helps a lot to have a reference sheet while 3d modeling. A reference sheet that you create by drawing. It really feels like the universe is just telling me to draw. I guess i should try to get back into drawing since it's such a stupid useful skill.

April 22, 2025

It always sucks when my parents leave. when i happens to other people, there always seems to be a big reason to why. For my friend, it only happened when a old family member's health declined. even then, only one parent left. I've heard of others who's parents leave for work. but for me it is because they want to go on vacation. vacation... it feels like they care so little about me. it makes me feel like i'm not worth spending time with or raising. like im something less important then skiing. what doesn't help is the extra responsibilities of living alone on top of that

April 21, 2025

i feel like shit. im bored but at the same time i don't want to do anything. all i did today was sleep but i still feel tired. one of my grades dropped and that made me feel awful. my head is telling me to cut again. i stopped because i didn't want to hide scars during the summer but i just changed to a more hidden location. my parents have left again, so much for parents taking care of their child. I hate it here

April 3, 2025

Waow, it's April! I haven't written in here in a while. That's kinda what happens when i tell myself that i'll write when something of note happens because nothing that happens feels that grand. i made some quick ms paint images for a school project a bit ago and since the teacher is done marking the assignmnet i used them in, im finally going to share them. idk if i should try and do daily entries here or not. it takes time to make them because i like to just go on and on about random things but if i don't do it daily then i probably will only add entries rarely. that's all for now, check the main page for the ms paint images

March 19, 2025

I'm back!!! ( ˶ ˃ ᗜ ˂ ˵ ) i got sick and did nothing but sleep for like 3 days. sounds nice right? not really for me. because i didnt want whatever i caught to spread, i trapped myself inside my room. terrible idea. it was a perfect environment for my silly brain to think very silly thoughts so my mental health kinda died. i even kept the blinds closed the entire time because who need sunlight? you know the thing that, i hate to admit, helps with mental health a little. also i guess screw hobbies because i did none of them either during that time. sleeping all day also messed up my sleep schedule so i am tired. actually bullshit, i get tired for sleeping. ( ｡ •̀ ⤙ •́ ｡ )

March 15, 2025

throat sore (╥‸╥). worked on blender. the simple deform was being weird and acted differently from the tutorial but i figured out a work around. mostly just slept. goint to sleep more. gn

March 14, 2025

i worked on the site today and i think i got it closer to the style i want. don't look at the code though, it's a mess. i still don't like the font but i made progress. school is shorter on fridays which is nice. people call it a half day but technically it's only around an hour and half shorter. physics is kinda brutal tho. i spent a lot of time studying for it and i would say that im good at physics compared to other people and i still got only an 85 for my recent exam. it's still a good mark but it just doesn't feel good with the amount of effort i put in. other people are struggling too. i lost the initial rush of motivation and obsession i had for this site but ill keep working on it. motivation doesnt get you far so ill force myself to keep working on it. though it's weird that sometimes i dont want to do things that i like. i like videogames but recently i dont have the motivation to play them or want to play them. i think ill get back into videogames. eventually. maybe. who knows, i just learned about aperature, which makes me want to get into photograph a little. Then i also want to learn blender soooooooo lots of interests competing for my time

March 13, 2025

Oh god it's already so late. All i did was hang out with my friend after school. now that ive started doing so passion projects and try to keep up with friendships and stay on top of school work, i feel like i don't have enough time. time always flies by and i always have something else to do. how do people even have multiple friends. how do you even split time for all them? Well bye. i got chemistry work to do.

March 12th, 2025

Hi! It's wednsday so that means moonlit on vrchat. moonlit is a small event where i get to see a few people perform. sometimes it's dances and sometimes it's songs or a cover of a song. except i overslept during my nap and i missed most of it. after that i went and went into public instances just to see what kind of people are there. they're... interesting. but it's really not that bad from what i had in mind. yeah, there were things i didn't like but nothing was truly unexpectedly terrible. maybe i just isolate myself so often that i have a inaccurate idea of how bad people are. it wasn't as scary as i thought and i guess people aren't that bad. wow who knew everyone on the internet is actually NOT a doxxer who routinely picks a random person to dox every week. that also leads to my next topic that i wanted to write about. internet safety and how do people feel fine sharing things. it's so weird to me that everyone is just fine with revealing their age. like it's so common but it narrows who you could be irl so much and it's something that would make sense to be kept in a data base. you go from possibly being one in 8 billion to one in 140 million. with enough inconspicuous information, you could probably narrow it down an insane amount. though now that i actually look at the numbers, it's probably not that bad. it's not like everyone has access to a data base of information on everyone. even data bases are limited, it's very unlikely for them to know that i like listening to hatsune mike. on the other hand, pictures are crazy bad for internet safety. have you seen rainbolt? case closed. if you don't know what you're doing, you could leave the metadata on the picture and just give away your location at a certain time that requires very little effort to access. that's it for today's ramblings. i'm probably just being anxious.

March 11th, 2025

I worked on the website! Yay. Buttons are really cool but i couldn't find many that i liked. I was too focused on the website and now i realize that i'm too tired to think of anything to write. I'll write more tomorrow.

March 10th, 2025

I spent all of today on this. Isn't it cool? I guess it was a way to personally express myself and programming combined that made my brain go crazy about it. The website is a form of personal expression too and that why I made it. I'm too scared to do it around people I know so being anonymous is great. Anyways I made that site cause I always imagined a huge wall of text repeating one word floating behind me when voices repeated mean things to me. I kinda hesitate to call them voices because it's just me. I like to pretend it's not by calling them voices and refering to them like they are a seperate entity but they're not. Moving on, I hope you have fun with the site. Make my mean voices say something silly like :3 or something mean like they normally do. Maybe I should actually work on the main site though. :/

March 9th, 2025

Just made this site today. I was supposed to learn blender but I got distracted instead. I'm getting distracted a lot now. How am I able to laser focus on some random youtube video? Today is a weekend so all I have to do is a online chemistry quiz. It's due on the 14th but i missed the last one so I'm forcing myself to do it this weekend since I have nothing else to do. I know right, I'm being so responsible but just to make sure you have the right impression of me, I'm a mess. I don't know what I'm doing and my life is not in order. There's so much I want to write about but I'm eepy and tired. Bye